The Scientific Method

One day,

The Scientist and the Philosopher

met at a bar
(if you think this is a joke,
you're going too far)

The topic at hand was not Atheism or God

Nor was it about religion

It was, quite surprisingly,

their failure with money and women

I believe in the Scientific method,

said the Philosopher bitterly

but look where its got me

he said accusingly

I'm stuck in my head

sleep alone in my bed

All my deep ideas

remain pleas

for someone to notice me

and that happens very infrequently..

I believe in the Joy of Discovery,

said the Scientist

and I'm sure you'll get the gist

when I report that

he told the other guy

his pending patent

had made someone else richer

and gave him a nice ulcer.

Just then the barkeep came to them

what'll it be then

"Gin for his depression

and rum for my frustration"

said the Science man

"and keep separate tabs"

said the mournful Philosopher

Just as his sad eyes spotted her

Across the room

"The witch forgot her broom"

said he

TheScientist who had

also been rejected by her

nodded sagely

As they downed their joint account

of depression and frustration,

the Philosopher said

"I'm getting out of here

Take a contemplative walk

In the city"

The Scientist waited till he left

Got out his notes from his phone

studied them for a while

made a new entry: Attempt 7

as he carried out his new experiment

to get to heaven.

He approached her, with a non stalker smile

said its been quite a while

that you last rejected me

after which

I've got half a promotion

and a citation

for my almost exemplary work

will that work

for you to have a drink with me?

Results of the latest experiment

are still awaited

Although early signs seem promising

She had a drink and let him sing

his song of courtship to her

and had left the bar with him..